Being an emotional female is both a blessing and a curse. Riding the highs and lows of emotion is exhilarating but exhausting work. Right now my emotional self is feeling a tad on the low side. It's not because the Dear One has headed off for his 40th birthday road trip with the aptly names 'Mild Hogs'. (A group of eight grown up men road tripping around Victoria on their BMW motorbikes in the style of the Wild Hogs - let's hope they don't meet up with the Banditos!). And it's not because I'm unhappy with my life or my family. In fact I'm glaringly aware of how lucky I am to have what I have. But still I can't shake this slight emotional dip which has seemingly infected me over the past few days. As any other emotional female will agree - it goes beyond logic.
Emotions seem to exist in a little realm of their own somewhere between your spirit and your body. I certainly wouldn't call them a spiritual thing but they sure aren't a logical part of the body either. They can be delightful. That tug you feel inside yourself when you see a newborn baby, tears of amazement and love well up in your eyes before you even have time to register the thought pattern in your brain. Pure blissful joy. But I should warn you I am one of 'those' women who cries at TV commercials and has to choose not to watch some movies because I know I'll be left emotionally shattered by the sad ending. (I'm aware I sound a little pathetic - blame it on the emotions). But then on days like today being emotionally sensitive can be a burden that I think I could live without. It seems to weigh me down and stop me loving life - like I know I should be.
Would I be wrong in thinking that with each pregnancy and birth I've gone through my emotional side has become stronger? Maybe it has something to do with that link between mother and child? I'm still in awe at how my boobies would seem to know when my babies needing feeding. I'd get that zingy feeling and whamo 'let down'. I'm sure it happened when my little baby pinks were thinking about their next meal. Even now I'll wake up in the middle of the night and just know I'm needed. I'll be wide awake immediately and sure enough within minutes one of them will cry out 'Muuuuuummy' - and need the sicky bowl. You just can't logically explain that type of thing.
I wonder if this emotional dip is trying to tell me something? (Yep - I do like to try to find meaning in these things.) If it is, I'm not hearing it yet, so it might need to shout a little louder in order to drag my attention in the right direction. Are you an emotional woman? What purpose do you think our emotions serve in our lives - especially as mummies? I'd be really interested to know what other people think. They're blissful and weighty - but so much more too.