Sunday, March 6, 2011

Do you worry more than you should?

Do you wake up in the middle of the night and worry about things?   Evidently I do.   1.52am this morning to be a little more specific.  My mother used to tell me that things seem far worse at night and not to take the 'night worries' to heart, as things will always seem much bright in the morning.   Sage words mummy dearests.   We made a bigish financial commitment yesterday and I've been replaying it all in my mind and seconding guessing my motives and wisdom.  

I hate worry.  It doesn't change anything.  Your circumstances and the end result remain the same whether you worry or not - so 'not'  is probably the right answer.  But try explaining that to me at 2.00am this morning.  We have a friend who lives by the creed not to worry about anything unless is occurs within a 20kms radius of his home. Now I'm aware there are a number of flaws to his thinking - but there is something rather delicious about the notion of just choosing not to worry about things you can't change. 
"Worry is just a bad mental habit. You feel like you're doing something but you're not really getting anywhere."  Chenoweth
Worry takes up bucket loads of emotional energy (and precious sleep time too).  I doubt if I'll ever be the type to just sit back and enjoy the 'ride of life' knowing I have no control of where it takes me (far to much control freak in me for that).  But I'm working on finding a balance, one that won't wake me up in the middle of the night!   As mothers I think we all worry about our childrens' future.   I think that's part of the instinctual mother role.  From birth we're always looking for dangers and pitfalls so we can remove them before our children run full speed ahead into them.  But even this needs to be held in check, as it has the potential to overpower us if we let it. 

So I am re-educating my brain.  Worry doesn't change things and while it makes me feel busy and concerned it's taking up precious energy that could be better directed into other things!  Do you wake up and worry during the night?  How do you deal with it? Share your secret worry defeating and mind retraining strategies with me :O)
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14 comments:

  1. Oh! I am hearing you! I have been very, very bad of late, so much so that it began to take a toll on my health. Stress is just so bad for us! I am in my final year of Uni, very demanding, and playing Mumma to 3 little loves, and the darling works shifts, so sometimes, often, I am on my own. I write EVERYTHING down, I purge my worry onto a tiny notepad in the form of a "to-do" list. So if it's the middle of the night, I have 'dealt' with the worry as best I can in that moment. Sorta' helps, yet, I am still wound very tight this week haha! I have a blog post sitting in my drafts about my stressy world at the moment... that I can't bring myself to post as it feels so negative, but I think I will finish it and send those worries out into the bloggosphere hahaha! xxx

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  2. YES! This sounds very familiar. While I think a lot of stress is very unhealthy and like you say, physically and emotionally taxing, a little worry is a good thing. It keeps us overcoming challenges, it keeps us moving forward, making clear good decisions... well it does for me. I just have to not let it go beyond constructive and let it get to HECTIC! I love what Mumma Moments said about a list. I do the same thing AND I have written nearly a dozen posts and never hit publish. My blog too, although like a personal diary, trys to remain focused on the positives. I often write a "GRRR" post, re-read it and feel so much better; releasing it, and putting some perspective on in. Then I hit delete and both post and {the majority of} the worry are gone... usually.
    Hope you sleep better tonight Caz! x

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  3. I try to deal with worry by being practical. If there's a lot on my plate and it's stressing me out I try to get organised and write checklists so I can make sure nothing falls by the way side. Being proactive about what's worrying me and never sweeping it under the rug is my tip :-)
    xxxCate

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  4. Seems lists are a popular method of dealing with worry! (I do that too). Do you think it's our way of establishing control over it?? Thanks for the thoughtful comments MM, Carly and Cate :)

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  5. I've always been a ``worry wart'', so I relate totally to having your mind mulling over things in the early hours of the morning. I think the words ``don't worry about it'' are spoken by my husband more than any other. Easier said than done. I'm also learning to write things down. It seems to help put things into perspective.

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  6. One of my favourite bible vs since I was a little girl is about this very topic...found in Matthew 6:25-34.
    I don't believe worry will ever disappear from our lives but it is about perspective...where we focus our eyes and what we think about can help us manage it...If I find myself focusing on the stresses I try to replace it with a thought of gratefulness or remembering that I was made to be their mum for a reason and I can manage it! Worry is just a nicer word for fear in my opinion...fear of not controlling the circumstances...so I try to remind myself that Im not God and I only try to fix what I can and that talking about it with a good friend can often put it in perspective (we always magnify our problems in our own mind)

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  7. I don't wake up worrying in the middle of the night, I just can't seem to shut my mind down to get to sleep to start with. If I ever figure it out I'll let you know! :\

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  8. my mind is always ticking away in the middle of the night. Its a genetic thing, worrying..I come from a long history of worrying women...lol.

    Agreed on the lists and being practical with the worry. Great post Caz....x

    Kell xo

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  9. I love the idea of reeducating your brain - what a helpful way of expressing it. x

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  10. I'm always worrying about the "What If's", trying to prepare for anything 'just in case' it happens! At least it's made me more organised... I've now come to accept that it's part of my charm ;)

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  11. Thansk for all the comment loving my bloggy friends. Looks like we're all a pack of worry worts :) Nice to know I'm not alone on that one!!

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  12. Oh I know exactly how you feel. I'm always worrying through things during the wee hours - it's the only time I get peace to hear my thoughts! But it is a waste of time too - sleep is much better for us!

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  13. Oh I'm a huge worrier, but I'm learning to retrain my brain also ... I do it via Mindfulness. It doesn't always work and it's not a cure, but it makes a different.

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  14. Do I lie awake worrying? It's 3:17am and I'm up after 2 failed attempts at going to bed. So I guess the answer is yes *sigh*. It's giving me lots of time to catch up on my blog reading though!

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I love comments on my posts - they really are like sunshine on a cloudy day! If you're a new follower to The Truth About Mummy please leave me a link to your blog so I can follow you back. Thanks ..... Caz